PnoyDork

I’m working more…and I’m slowly saving up. I see that the amount of bills that I owe is going down. Life’s good. I’m on good terms with everybody….

I think when July comes, it’ll be good. I’d leave on a good note with everyone here. My family and I are closer, I feel more than we have ever been before. Even my brother and I are doing okay. Probably cuz I let him drive my car the other day haha…and my sister, she cries every night thinking about me leaving. I feel like this is something I should do though…cuz nothings gonna happen to me here in Illinois.

If I want something, I gotta reach out, work hard for it, and achieve it. That’s what I’m trying to do….no this is something I will do. 

Almost there…

Pretty unexpected…but it’s for a bank teller position…

Let’s hope this turns out good. :)

even the mere sight of a picture of you, all these feelings come back…bad feelings. Feelings of me wanting to hurt you…feelings of me wanting to take you down and make you feel what I’ve felt.

Yeah this thing I have against you has been left unresolved, I cannot wait for the day when you and I come face to face, and you raise your hand…and I kick your ass.

Yep, I’m 22. I’m getting older. And I know I still got a lot to experience in life…but right now, I just feel like my life is in slow motion, slow motion to events, but full speed at the aging process…

I need to…do something with my life -.-

22…lol what do I have to look forward to for turning 22? xD Hope my day tomorrow is fun. I need fun in my life. Been lacking it, and that’s just a crime >.<

Things are difficult. Complicated. Life throws so much curve balls in your way, it’s likely you’ll strike out a couple times. But honestly? When am I gonna hit the ball and get a home run? Or even a chance to run to first. 

I’m not making dating references or anything. It’s just with life events, things are indeed hard. People are changing. Some are even leaving. Friendships hang by the thinnest thread when they used to be made of steel.

It’s sad…

I wanna leave and get outta here, but like a little bird that’s learning to fly…I gotta prepare, be ready. If I go when things are just too premature, I’ll just hop outta the nest and go straight down to the ground.

We all just have to deal with everything and hope for the best.

You know the ones that talk down at you. The ones you know you wouldn’t be friends with at all. The ones who just try and try to make your day just the worst. The bad people in life that just provide you with negativity.

All those kinds of people are so easy to get rid of and cut from your life.

The ones that are the hardest, are the ones who you love, the ones you’ve been through so much with. The ones you’ve shared great times with…good or bad.

What I’m pointing out is just past lovers and old best friends who are still with you…still your friend, or is your friend at times…and other times just isn’t. They do everything I listed up there. But you stay in touch with them because you loved them once, and still do. Unhealthy could be the word that may describe the friendship between those. Yeah, you may call eachother friends, but you’ll have feelings still there, deeply burning…in your heart. But you just know that you can’t go back to how it was, nor can you be civil with one another.

So you ask yourself…what can you do? Is it right to just cut them out of your life if they bring you so much hate, especially self hate…? 

I say goodbye to that…and I say goodbye to those who just don’t give a shit about you…you really don’t need them.

Life sucks. But like everyone else we gotta embrace it and bear it enough to walk out the front door and hope that it stops sucking.

Things may not go your way or to your own liking, but you go to sleep and wake up the next day hoping that it will be better than yesterday. We’re human, we’re people…it’s what we do, it’s what we tend to live for nowadays.

Sure we got school, work, the occasional guys and girls that we use to distract ourselves, but the most important person in your life is your own self…

Because people leave, friends come and go, people interested in you end up losing interest in you and finding something better, yeah life can kinda suck.

And there is no exit…but…well you know, the stupid exit. But we just gotta keep living…

This is what’s on the mind of most people my age is thinking…and to all ya’ll out there that think that life sometimes sucks like me…I’m saying, we got this.

It’s not gonna suck later on.

So…sad songs right? :P I’ve been posting them because it’s how I feel. From listening to the recent two, you would know that it has to do with…well you know.

All I can say is I’m gonna be strong. Alone or without someone to be with me. 2 years…of love, two years of struggle, two years of bliss, two years of pitting two things that are just too different from one another to be together at all.

To whom this may concern…I love you. I wish the best for you. Hope you find something…someone that will make you want to stay forever and ever.